


Logic Puzzle

by hjcallipygian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-20
Updated: 2005-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjcallipygian/pseuds/hjcallipygian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're the only two who survived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Logic Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> This was an attempt to write something different than I usually did.

Fred wakes up at 3:17 on a Thursday morning. His left cheek sticks to the hardwood floor of the flat, captured by a thin layer of saliva. His cheek makes a dry plop against his teeth as he sits up. The wood has a dark spot from his sleep drool. The flat makes him itchy inside.

He pulls on a pair of girl's pants and leaves through the window, down the fire escape. Hermione spelled the front door closed weeks ago. They leave the window open all the time, even when it rains. The downstairs neighbors hate them. Fred has no idea how many times they have _obliviated_ the landlord. At least twenty. It rains a lot in England.

:#:

Hermione lists all the ways Ron would mispronounce or otherwise mangle the word "internet." It takes her two hours. She makes the list into a web page and registers the URL with an internet archive site, so it will always be there. She wonders if it is perhaps now the only remnant of her old friend outside of her own memory, and spends the next thirty minutes with that thought, obligated to but unable to cry.

She gives up and turns on the telly to a _Friends_ marathon. Fred wakes up and leaves. A commercial for scented floor wax brings her to tears.

:#:

The flat is not decorated. There is a large flat-panel television hooked up to a satellite system, two-hundred-thousand-million channels of viewing pleasure. A bunch of blankets and pillows along the opposite wall. Fred sleeps on the floor, in between her piles of books.

For she must have books, right? Piles and piles of books, but not a single one for learning. She has romance and action and fantasy and science-fiction, the worst she can find. She attacks her brain with apathy and atrophy. Cover shots with Fabio, rather than the full-body bind that dropped Fred into the water; Muggle spies and agents, rather than helping Harry eliminate all possibility of current and future Dark Lords by killing anyone with the ability to use magic; elves and dwarves, rather than Ron's _Avada Kadavra_ hitting her chest at the same time Harry's spell was cast, the two canceling one another out so she survived.

She gave Fred CPR so she wouldn't be the only one left.

Fred climbs into the flat with curry, wearing only her pants and a white t-shirt. They have sex, and then he handcuffs her to a blanket. She drags the blanket behind her as she goes to the curry.

"Love you, Hermione," Fred says.

"I'm the only person you know," she replies. Her mouth is full, and bits of curry spray onto the floor.

"Can't really afford to be picky, then, can I?" he says. She accepts this.

He undoes the handcuffs, and wraps his hands around her neck. "I'll be the one who stays," he says, and squeezes.

She smiles, and whispers, "I love you, too."


End file.
